2020 was a rough ride for everybody.
The pandemic showed no mercy and was able to penetrate through every layer of society, be it the rich, the middle class or the poor. But the effects for each category differs and some of the spectrum is especially wide.
There are so many things to talk about this pandemic and the effects that it has had on every human being on earth. Here are a few things which I thought was good to reflect on and talk about, at least on my end.
1) School - The effects of online learning and the aftermath of MCO.
The effects of online learning
When MCO was first announced, school holidays had already commenced. It was the typical 1 week holiday in March where students were able to take a break after having their Ujian Bulanan. Teachers would have used this week to take a break, catch up with grading papers and keying in the results. As for me, I had to do all those and at the same time attend B.I.G (Bina Insan Guru) camp organized by IPG since I was still a student under them at the time.
The news of MCO came in and it was supposedly to be only for two weeks (Little did we know), I thought it would have been a nice break from school. But the longer MCO prolonged, the more agitated I got - especially when I was extremely worried for my students who were going to sit for PT3 (but it got cancelled anyway hahah wtf).
The hype for online learning stepped in and for many teachers, there was added pressure. Teachers were not well equipped neither were they trained to be put in this situation. Even for a person like me who is considered somewhat tech-savvy faced so many difficulties in pulling this off, what more of the teachers who had been using old techniques. One of the main struggles about online learning, is definitely getting students to enter your class. It also depends on which school you're teaching in, because every school is different.
For my school, SMK PJ is very much urban-rural and most students come from the B40 family. I know that some of them do not have phones and will have to use their parents phones to attend classes and even worst, they will have to share it with their other siblings. Hence, not being able to attend class. For instance, a student messaged me saying that he didn't understand anything because he wasn't used to online classes, in fact he hated it. There is also the situation where students take this advantage of it being a holiday and not attending classes at all. What's worst, they don't have access to internet and their priority really isn't about studies but rather it is about feeding their family members.
Even I, as a teacher tried my very best to help these students in need, working with my friends to send food to them and so on but the question was "How long will this last?" It was also difficult to face the disappointment of not being able to deliver lessons and feeling as if you're a failure because you'd tend to compare yourself with your peers who are in the same field as you.
So the conclusion to online learning - it ultimately sucks, because at the end of the day - people would prefer face-to-face interactions, regardless of how introverted you are.
The aftermath of MCO
When students were back in school, it was quite abrupt - from just having the form 5s and the sudden announcement of the other forms going back to school. I was actually having fun teaching the form 5 students because the numbers were all split apart and there were less students in class. It was one of the best teaching experience I've ever had in my two years of teaching. The reason being that I was able to focus on each of them individually and I only taught English HAHAHA.
Later on, all of the students came back to school and of course majority of them didn't do the homework given during MCO, so you'll have to suck up the disappointment and carry on which is to start all over again. While I faced the challenges of students not completing something so easy like "copying notes", I appreciated that majority of my students from 3F did complete their work.
Other than having to get used to the weird SOPs and new rules, you could also tell that there is a stark difference in the students that you once taught before MCO. You can tell that it has impacted some of them, mentally and physically.
But by the time we were used to the SOPs and new rules, my school was hit once again with two positive cases by two students who came back from Sabah. It went viral, and the situation was extremely scary, especially when teachers still had to go to school to teach. Students were not encouraged to go to school and once again, online lessons had to commence.
It's unfortunate that the covid case fell upon my school and I don't wish for it to happen to any other schools. I can't stress enough on the amount of anxiety which fell upon me, my colleagues at the time, friends and the students.
With that, it was the end of formal education for most students and teachers.
2) Mental Health
With the unfortunate events last year, from one thing to another, it was a huge wake up call for me.
So, if you're reading this, put your mental health first. Practise Empathy. The problem with people wanting to come forward is hit by the negative stigma that our society has put on counselling and therapy.
'You're not crazy, why do you need therapy?'
'Don't need to go therapy la later you become siao.'
Sentences like this has gone way in over our heads for the longest time and I'm glad I'm out of that system. Away from that negativity.
If any of you are scared to seek for professional help, my only advise is - fear is real for everybody, I have fears, but to overcome our fears, enables us to be a better person than before. Ask around for people whom have had experience attending sessions and research on what you feel is good for you.
3) 2020 had its pros and cons, just like every other year.
'Leaving'
People come and go and most of the time, we all have a hard time accepting when they are gone.
When I say gone, it could be a break up in relationships/friendships, it could mean the person has passed away (E.g. Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gigi).
My favourite person (my grandmother) in the world left for the afterworld in September, and if you are close to me, you would know how her passing impacted me really badly. She was someone whom I loved and cherished very much. (This will come in a different post, if I ever want to share).
Two weeks later, a batchmate of mine took her own life and it was a huge blow to my entire organisation, me included. Finally, in December before 2020 came to a close, I received the news that one of my favourite colleague from Maxis had also passed away.
Many people viewed it as extreme losses and while I am aware that death is part and parcel of life but it definitely took me some time to recover from these events. Heck, so many things has happened in 2020, I feel that there's just so much to cover, you know? But one step at a time.
I have also learn't that in order to properly move on, one has to grieve first. People tend to forget the most important step to take before they could move on with life. Grieving is when you begin to slowly come to realize of your feelings, instead of suppressing it (I mean sure it works for some people but let's face it, suppressing your feelings would eventually make you blow up in various ways that you can't even imagine). This allows you to be aware of what's in front of you and you know slowly accept of the losses that you have faced. It takes time, but you'll get there, just make sure you allow yourself to get there.
In a way, 2020 was the year where God took back the people he loves most, back to him.
For me, 2020 definitely had its pros despite the setbacks.
I've tried new things and got out of my comfort zone (lul), learn't a few new skills. Hopefully to further improve on these new skills and gain more experiences and knowledge in order to build myself.
To understand 2020 as a whole, has been tedious but at the same time refreshing.
That's my take on 2020, what's yours?
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